It seems that sleep keeps avoiding me tonight as thoughts of my boo invade my mind. I miss him soo much. It's so hard being away from him for so long. He's supposed to be home soon, but can't say when exactly. Every now and then he gets the chance to get online and chat with me and SOMETIMES even get to skype with me. Afterward I'm on Cloud Nine and sleep comes easily to me. but it's nights like this that I don't hear from him, that I toss and turn. I hate how empty the bed feels, even with all of my pointless pillows and my bedhog of a dog. :)

Haha, listen to me... I sound pathetic.

Earlier today, I was thinking of how life changing it's been for me once I got with D. He's taught me so much, helped me overcome my fears, helped me become more of an open minded person, been my inspiration in my poetry, and in life in general. He's brought out the better side of me, and has helped me better my life, in so many different ways. He's made me a confident, stronger, more brave person. D gave me something to life for, someone to die for, and a life to hold onto and cherish forever. And never neglects to remind me how far I've come in this last year alone. He always remembers to remind me how precious I am to him, how much he loves me and believes in me. I couldn't thank God for placing such a wonderful man in my life. He's been nothing short of a Blessing to me.

^^ This is why I sound so pathetic. When someone who has made you THIS happy, and has changed your life THIS much, You can't help but miss him soo much that it twists your stomach and steals your hours of sleep away.

I feel dead when he's not around... HE is my life...

I can only feel alive again when we talk, or when I write about him.

There must be something wrong with me :P

It's been a rocky year between D and I, But at the same time, it's been a wonderful one.
We've had moments where I've wondered if I had made too much of a rushed decision, If it was too rash, too crazy, too risky. I've wondered if I did or would regret it. Maybe it was, maybe it is, but I will Never regret taking any kind of chance on D. D has showed me a new kind of light to life. Even if this life style of being married into the Marine Corps and Preserving a marriage across the world is not the easiest of lives, D makes every sleepless night worth the exhaustion.
When I first flew out here, with my two suitcases, a heart full of hope and a stomach full of butterflies, I didn't know what to expect. Seeing him there at the airport, haha it was funny! We stood there like a couple of fools not knowing WHAT to do. So we just hugged. HUGGED. We were about to be married and the only thing we could do was HUG! Haha! Talk about nerves. I thought something was wrong with me. I finally said, "hi". Geesh. there WAS something wrong with me. But thankfully that somehow broke the ice, he laughed and it was as if we never had been apart all those years. He was my D all over again. When we got in  the elevator, and the doors closed, I looked at him, really looked at him. It was like nothing changed sense high school. Sure, he lost a lot of weight and gained some muscle (really sexy muscle might I add) ;) But nothing too dramatic. I was relieved. He caught my gaze and I smiled. I decided now was a time better than ever. And I kissed him... It was just like that kiss I always went on about before. but in a way, it was different. I KNEW where this kiss would take us, and all the ones to follow. I knew that this kiss was beginning the journey of something wonderful.
We were still on the waiting list for housing, so we ended up crashing at one of his buddy's house who also had a wife and a beautiful daughter. They enjoyed parties, LOTS of them, and I experienced what it was like to be at a real party for the first time. I saw my husband to be in his natural light, around his friends. It took me some time for it to sink in  but I came to actually appreciate it.
Shortly after, We got married. June 6th 2012. (WHOOOO) to follow, We had gotten our dog; Tank, a three year old Terrier mix, and he soon became my only company.D had to go away on a train up when our house became available so I had to move in on my own.  It was only our dog, T and I for a few months to follow. Once D got back he came home to our HOME... and as wonderful as it was, It took some time for us to readjust to having our own space and it was breaking old habbits. D was a gamer. He relied on gaming for a long time (still does) and I was not as much as he. We had our creative differences on that subject and it caused many fights. D didnt like to go out, while I often got cabin fever. This created lots of turbulence in our relationship.But somehow, D always seemed to figure out someway to make up for all the misunderstandings we shared. He would wake before me and make me breakfast (sometimes in bed) and he would sneak up behind me and hold me tight when I wouldn't expect it. He would always find ways to make me feel like a woman, and when my world was crashing down around me, He'd remind me just how strong I was.
D is deffinitley a challenge to keep up with, but he's brought out the best in me, and he has seen the worst of me yet still finds me worth it. We both came into this with baggage and LOTS of it, yet here we are helping each other unpack. OUR relationship is one that will forever be a work in progress, but it's a job I will never mind doing. Even in our worst of times, We grow. But we GROW TOGETHER.
He is currently deployed. He's been gone for about four months, and in that time, I have gone back to school, and gotten a job to pass the time. We have fallen apart but have fallen apart, together, and it made us even stronger. It will only be a short time until he is back home and the two of us will be in flight toward our home town to visit family. I can't wait until we get that escape to our homegrounds.
D is my life. I will forever love him. In just this short time of being married to him, ( a year in June 6th) He has made me a better person, and my life more colorful. He is everything I remembered he was but even so much more. He is all the dreams I dreamed of coming true. And I can't wait to be telling this story to our kids one day. and our Grandkids too :) 

Dreams Coming True :) ♥ (poem)

FINALLY :) After spending all of my time staring out of my window, Dreaming of that special life to be, With that special guy to spend both mine and his life with me, I'm finally packing all my bags and taking off in flight, departing to his sweet embrace, and from my old boring life. His eyes will be there to welcome me, I'm sure, with tears of relief. His arms held open wide with love to close: tightly embracing me. His lips firmly pressed against mine in the most indescribable kiss. I've dreamed of this tasteful sensation all these years and I can't wait to re-experience this. After all these years running on the fuel of memories of our past days, I get to spend the rest of our lives with all the memories we will make. It's a happy thought to live on, Knowing all this love we have between which has broken the distance that tried to separate us from our dream. Of a happy little marriage, and a home filled with love and joy; A sweet little daddy's girl and a tough ol' little boy. A decent house built on moral, and honesty with faith In a God who holds it all, and whom will keep our family safe. After spending all that time imagining what I never thought I could do... I finally get to start living my dream that's coming true. :)

His text :)

His text: " *I smile and kiss you slowly before leaning back and looking into your eyes* "you are my every waking thought Jaylynn. Every moment revolves around you now. My center> my place of peace and conflict. my love and life. The woman I want to marry and that no other can match. Beautiful on the outside, and georgeous on the inside. When I think of touching you, kissing you, holding you... it fills me with a need for you that goes beyond description. Wen I see your smile it fills me with happiness and peace that I cant find anywhere else.' * i kiss you agian, long and deep before looking at you again* 'My future Wife. The future mother of our beautiful children. there is never a moment that your not on my mind" * I kiss you, pressing my lips firmly to yours and pull you into a tight embrase.*" I wonder if he got that from a book. It seems too perfect to me. I dont know about you ladies, but my heart did a a series of skips, leaps, and turning to goo... I hate that this man can do this to me. I used to read stuff similiar to this and think "yeah right, this guy is full of nonsense. and it was to "whoo me then shoo me" i called it. but Dakoty is wooing me deep down to my soul.... and as much as I hate it... I love it... ♥

Jakoty~ forever and today

A Little Dedication to the Best boyfriend In all the world. Sweetheart, I hope you and I get the pleasure of spending the rest of our lives together. I will always wait for you! I cant wait until you come home to me M'love!

As for everyone This is the guy that this blogg is about. jakoty is our couple name, and our phrase is "forever and today" at least you can put face to name :)
Hope you enjoy it :)

Can't live without him.

There is just something about him, that I can't explain
Maybe its in how he says my name.
Its in what he whispers and in all that he'll do
his words wrap around me and draw me close to him
And the rainbows break loose and they shine down
then Im ten feet above ground
and his love makes me
fall off the floor
He'll wrap it around me
and ill beg for more
Its like a drug
the sweet sour addiction
I cant refuse
this lovely passion.

The morning sun rises
and I wake to a text
Says "I wish I could be there
but I cant just yet
so imagine this m'lady
my arms holding you tight
a kiss on your cheek
a whisper in your right
ear, me saying this line
Your beautiful my darling
my soon to be wife
I bid you goodmorning
on this brilliant day
I wish i could spend it with you
but im too far away.
so ill send you my love
as you arise for work
I love you and being away
really does hurt
but Im here for you
im there in your heart
so realy this distance
cant keep us apart"

then the rainbows break loose and they shine down
and Im ten feet above ground
and his love makes me
fall off the floor
He'll wrap it around me
and ill beg for more
Its like a drug
the sweet sour addiction
I cant refuse
this lovely attention.

Even when im mad,
and I wont respond
I cant help but smile
at each text that comes along
Your trying so hard
to lighten my mood
and Ill finally say
I hate you....
but you say
I love you too
and i hate when you do that
it melts my heart away
and I fall back to heaven
where you hold me safe
And the rainbows break loose and they shine down
then Im ten feet above ground
and his love makes me
fall off the floor
He'll wrap it around me
and ill beg for more
Its like a drug
the sweet sour addiction
I cant refuse
I cant live without him.
  <3

ONE GUY

Okay, so there is this one guy,I dreamed about as a little girl; That perfect date I imagined: That guy I pictured the perfect wedding with. That one guy that my father hated Just because he knew in his heart there was no other reason to hate him

He became that one  a boy I had a crush on in high school.

He sat in the seat behind me in geometry with the most baffling essence about him. We had talked on and off and he was a kind listener, but never did I think we would be together. One day came once when we had gotten close and I allowed him to drive me home from school. We hung out there at my house until my younger sister got home and then we took her to the park to play Frisbee. He stole my heart that day in how he interacted with her, and when we got back home I turned from laughing and watching her run into the house into the most amazing kiss. His mouth was small and tender on mine and it just stole away my breath. His kiss was gentle, compassionate, warm and inviting... Not the usual rough, urgent, needing, demanding, and controlling kisses I had been used to receiving from others. No, this kiss was far different from all the others. This was a kiss of adorrance, admiration, amazement... its hard to describe but I can still taste it to this day. We got closer from then for a month then we drifted apart. I was heartbroken but was never bitter about it. I kept him in my heart and all the memories of the time we spent but I had moved on with my life. Soon enough we were near strangers again, going about our own lives, nearly as if nothing ever existed between us.
 A few years passed and He had enlisted into the Marines and I had moved out of the state. While on summer vacation I had went back home to my mothers house. While i was there, I found him on Facebook. I added him, wondering if he would have remembered me. Within a few days, I received a message clarifying that he remembered, which I was grateful to discover. :) It didn't take us long to catch up with one another nor did it take much longer to get back to as close as we where before we drifted apart. I was with a boyfriend and he was engaged but I was just content with being able to talk to him again. A point in our conversation revealed that we both had strong feelings for one another, but we were happy where we were and weren't willing to compromise that. More time passed and I ended up engaged with another guy that I had eventually moved in with. He was still with his fiance and toward the ending of my engagement, i had told him i wished it was me in his arms. He agreed to the same. I clearly still loved him. I wanted to be with him but i was not going to push the issue, sense i was with someone and so was he.
 When My fiance had left me, This Guy was the one I had talked to about it. he made me feel at peace with it and reassured me that he was always there for me to talk to. I fell in love with him all over again in this time and didn't really realize it. When the tables turned and it was Him venting to me about his ending relationship,

(I do not own this photo)

it threw me for a loop. we were both single and free to be with each other, but neither of us made the move. I was beginning to wonder if he really did want to be with me and had started to decide that it wasn't going to happen until I messaged him one night, about my ex fiance, needing to vent to someone, and as always he was there for me. only this time, he had a proposition. He promised to learn how to love me the way I needed to be loved. That he would never leave me, and that wed work on being friends before anything. He promised me he would do his best and it was up to me to make the decision. I told him i had to think about it and he had said take all the time you need. So i waited, and i pondered on it. a month or two later, after talking as if we were together, I decided to say yes. YES! That must have been the craziest, yet best decision i have made. It was as if he released his restraints of his love and broke the Damns, flooding my world with the gentleman he was within. It was as if sitting in a pitch black room for ages and then someone shining a light in your eyes. It nearly blinded me, but i embraced it. Sadly physical connection is not available sense he is stationed in Hawaii with the marines and I am living with my grandparents, because if it was, I would have smothered him in a hug. But thankfully, one day, that will come to pass. and I could once again taste that indescribable kiss i mentioned earlier.
That ONE guy I never thought Id meet let alone be with...well
He is the best boyfriend I have ever had. I love you DAKOTY :)