It seems that sleep keeps avoiding me tonight as thoughts of my boo invade my mind. I miss him soo much. It's so hard being away from him for so long. He's supposed to be home soon, but can't say when exactly. Every now and then he gets the chance to get online and chat with me and SOMETIMES even get to skype with me. Afterward I'm on Cloud Nine and sleep comes easily to me. but it's nights like this that I don't hear from him, that I toss and turn. I hate how empty the bed feels, even with all of my pointless pillows and my bedhog of a dog. :)

Haha, listen to me... I sound pathetic.

Earlier today, I was thinking of how life changing it's been for me once I got with D. He's taught me so much, helped me overcome my fears, helped me become more of an open minded person, been my inspiration in my poetry, and in life in general. He's brought out the better side of me, and has helped me better my life, in so many different ways. He's made me a confident, stronger, more brave person. D gave me something to life for, someone to die for, and a life to hold onto and cherish forever. And never neglects to remind me how far I've come in this last year alone. He always remembers to remind me how precious I am to him, how much he loves me and believes in me. I couldn't thank God for placing such a wonderful man in my life. He's been nothing short of a Blessing to me.

^^ This is why I sound so pathetic. When someone who has made you THIS happy, and has changed your life THIS much, You can't help but miss him soo much that it twists your stomach and steals your hours of sleep away.

I feel dead when he's not around... HE is my life...

I can only feel alive again when we talk, or when I write about him.

There must be something wrong with me :P

It's been a rocky year between D and I, But at the same time, it's been a wonderful one.
We've had moments where I've wondered if I had made too much of a rushed decision, If it was too rash, too crazy, too risky. I've wondered if I did or would regret it. Maybe it was, maybe it is, but I will Never regret taking any kind of chance on D. D has showed me a new kind of light to life. Even if this life style of being married into the Marine Corps and Preserving a marriage across the world is not the easiest of lives, D makes every sleepless night worth the exhaustion.
When I first flew out here, with my two suitcases, a heart full of hope and a stomach full of butterflies, I didn't know what to expect. Seeing him there at the airport, haha it was funny! We stood there like a couple of fools not knowing WHAT to do. So we just hugged. HUGGED. We were about to be married and the only thing we could do was HUG! Haha! Talk about nerves. I thought something was wrong with me. I finally said, "hi". Geesh. there WAS something wrong with me. But thankfully that somehow broke the ice, he laughed and it was as if we never had been apart all those years. He was my D all over again. When we got in  the elevator, and the doors closed, I looked at him, really looked at him. It was like nothing changed sense high school. Sure, he lost a lot of weight and gained some muscle (really sexy muscle might I add) ;) But nothing too dramatic. I was relieved. He caught my gaze and I smiled. I decided now was a time better than ever. And I kissed him... It was just like that kiss I always went on about before. but in a way, it was different. I KNEW where this kiss would take us, and all the ones to follow. I knew that this kiss was beginning the journey of something wonderful.
We were still on the waiting list for housing, so we ended up crashing at one of his buddy's house who also had a wife and a beautiful daughter. They enjoyed parties, LOTS of them, and I experienced what it was like to be at a real party for the first time. I saw my husband to be in his natural light, around his friends. It took me some time for it to sink in  but I came to actually appreciate it.
Shortly after, We got married. June 6th 2012. (WHOOOO) to follow, We had gotten our dog; Tank, a three year old Terrier mix, and he soon became my only company.D had to go away on a train up when our house became available so I had to move in on my own.  It was only our dog, T and I for a few months to follow. Once D got back he came home to our HOME... and as wonderful as it was, It took some time for us to readjust to having our own space and it was breaking old habbits. D was a gamer. He relied on gaming for a long time (still does) and I was not as much as he. We had our creative differences on that subject and it caused many fights. D didnt like to go out, while I often got cabin fever. This created lots of turbulence in our relationship.But somehow, D always seemed to figure out someway to make up for all the misunderstandings we shared. He would wake before me and make me breakfast (sometimes in bed) and he would sneak up behind me and hold me tight when I wouldn't expect it. He would always find ways to make me feel like a woman, and when my world was crashing down around me, He'd remind me just how strong I was.
D is deffinitley a challenge to keep up with, but he's brought out the best in me, and he has seen the worst of me yet still finds me worth it. We both came into this with baggage and LOTS of it, yet here we are helping each other unpack. OUR relationship is one that will forever be a work in progress, but it's a job I will never mind doing. Even in our worst of times, We grow. But we GROW TOGETHER.
He is currently deployed. He's been gone for about four months, and in that time, I have gone back to school, and gotten a job to pass the time. We have fallen apart but have fallen apart, together, and it made us even stronger. It will only be a short time until he is back home and the two of us will be in flight toward our home town to visit family. I can't wait until we get that escape to our homegrounds.
D is my life. I will forever love him. In just this short time of being married to him, ( a year in June 6th) He has made me a better person, and my life more colorful. He is everything I remembered he was but even so much more. He is all the dreams I dreamed of coming true. And I can't wait to be telling this story to our kids one day. and our Grandkids too :)